So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
