I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
