Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
