lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
