yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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