So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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