I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
