omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish i was in the wii world.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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