Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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