I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
