the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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