I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
