your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Duck Duck Cougar?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
