youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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