There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
