then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
