So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
