What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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