apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
