omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
