she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
