I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
