i came on her dog
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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