the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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