I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
