Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
