I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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