well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
