Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
