If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
