The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
