Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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