but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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