smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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