i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
