$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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