We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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