I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
