Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
