you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
