I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
