Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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