just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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