Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't deserve a penis
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
