I'm eating all of the evidence.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
