she woke up with a sticky ear
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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