There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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