"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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