wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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