Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
