Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
