singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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